the benfields in real life

blah.

2011-12-03T16:40:00.000-08:00

you know that icky feeling...that mopey, disinterested, uninspired feeling? i feel like that and have for a while now. the baby blues have ended but this lasting gray has lingered. i could go into why but i don't really want to. somedays i feel myself coming out of it for a bit. others i feel like it could go on forever.

i don't want to feel like it, but i do.

here's to brighter days (and posts) ahead.

Cuteness Explosion

2011-11-27T10:58:00.000-08:00

This is not one of those updates on life...I am a little all over the place to put down concise thoughts just yet. Life is up and down and unpredictable and when I think about it too much, I kinda start to loose it so capturing moments like these are what keep me sane. I think I am focusing on everything about taking care of my kids instead of enjoying my kids. I'm working on it and I haven't quit yet :) I love my children and am thankful they are forgiving creatures :)

look who's chunking up!

caught making out with Santa

always looking at her brother and sisters instead of Mom

"how do the little piggies eat" works every time :)

she is infinately more stylish than I will ever be

This video is too cute. Lucy loves on Ginny all the time. She pats her head and lays on her and kisses her (open mouth of course). She is a great big sister ;)

cutest girl scout ever.

Best brother in our family. He loves to help take care of Ginny. He also loves to totally harass is other sisters :)

Introducing Ginny

2011-10-17T08:28:00.000-07:00

Ginny Neva Jean

born October 13th

at 8:20am

7lbs 19inches

The Philadelphia Pennsylvania Temple

2011-09-18T07:50:00.000-07:00

It is going to beautiful temple (click here to learn more about what a temple is), right? The groundbreaking was yesterday and was a very nice ceremony. I can't wiat to visit someday soon! Our family is really excited!

Here's To Being Plain...

2011-09-16T15:02:00.000-07:00

Sunglasses and One Big Tooth!

2011-09-08T08:45:00.000-07:00

Yep, that is one giant tooth front and center. Where the other tooth is, we might never know...

I'm Sorry...Musings of a Semi-Crazy Person

2011-09-07T13:46:00.000-07:00

I blog stalk, so sue me.

I read a certain blog because she, like myself, suffers from a common condition (PCOS). I love reading about how creative she is, and looking at her photos (which are amazing). But, mostly I love to see how real she is. She shares her feelings and thoughts...good and bad moments and doesn't apologize for them. She is honest and my heart soars for her through the good times and breaks for her through the bad. I have felt that same struggles that she has with infertility...and now the flip side of that coin with not being able to stop getting pregnant.

In the words of Joni Mitchell, "I've Seen Both Sides Now..."

For both of these reasons, I have lived my life on whether these things are going my way or not. Am I bitter because, yet again, someone around me is pregnant and I am not...Or, am I bitter because I have been pregnant for 2 years and want it to stop! I think the real reason for unhappiness is that none of this seems to be my choice. Life seems to be happening to me...and I am just here for the ride.

How do I find that middle ground where I can stay steady and not be so reactive to every change in my life? Is it possible? And if it is possble, what does THAT feel like?

Mostly right now, I feel like I am taking what wonderful gifts I have been given (in my children) forgranted.

I remember growing up, as a little girl, thinking I wanted to have babies. As I got older, I felt the same way, it wasn't a question as to if I would have them...it would just happen. They would be there when I wanted them. (Incidentally, I got voted in 8th grade as being most likely to marry a billionare and have 8 kids) Now I have had a little life experience tucked under my belt and I know that just because we desire an outcome doesn't mean it will be.

Now, after years of struggling with infertility/impatience, I am about to give birth to my FOURTH baby. A precious soul who belongs in my family. Someone who my Heavenly Father had in mind for me...or the other way around as it seems to be. I have learned so many things from my kids so far.

Being a parent, all of my weaknesses are magnified...my emotions are amplified...I can't get through one thought about even the idea of saying goodbye to them withough immediately tearing up...and yet I also struggle with day-to-day parenting. Children are challenging...demanding...puzzling. I am constantly second guessing my choices and wondering how my parents did it. Through all of this, my tendency is to feel worthless as a parent...I make so many mistakes and wish I could do a better job in showing my kids good examples of patience, unconditional love, humility, service...etc.

On the bright side, it reminds me of what has become a scripture that has become very dear to me in recent times:

6 ^aBe ^bcareful for nothing; but in every thing by ^cprayer and supplication with ^dthanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

7 And the ^apeace of God, which passeth all ^bunderstanding, shall ^ckeep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

In more plain words:

"Do not be axious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God...will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

I guess the point of this post is to say, of course I am not in charge of some, or even most, of the things that happen to me in this life. And, I am right, I do struggle to get through these challenges in life...I can't do this by myself. And really, I'm not supposed to do it by myself am I? So, in the coming months as my life, yet again, is thrown for a loop with the birth of another child, I will be coming to this post and reminding myself where I need to go for supplication.

I am sorry it took the suffering of a woman desperately wanting a child to get me to write again...and I promise the next post will be happier, if not slightly entertaining.

Uber Super Oops...

2011-04-14T14:57:00.000-07:00

Those were the first words out of my mouth when I saw the positive pregnancy test in the bathroom in February. We thought our suprise in life was Lucy. Apparently not. Ready or not, the newest Benfield will join us here on earth October 16th! (If you are keeping count that is 10 days before Lucy turns 1)

The shock seems to be wearing off a little and we are getting excited. As I have had 3 months off from being pregnant I am really feeling this pregnancy. I am exhausted. I admit feeling conflicted for a while. I didn't want to be happy or feel blessed...I wanted to feel sorry for myself (as my body was feeling the effects of pregnancy hormones again). I started thinking about all the things that could go wrong...another baby with Lucy's condition or worse...the fact that we will never be able to fly on an airplane again (haha), having two babies under the age of 1 and the effects of 3 c sections in under 3 years. Yikes. When you think about things in that way, who could blame me for being conflicted? Now I feel like I can do this. I want this. I want to know who needed to be sent to our family so soon after Lucy and who this spirit will be. Whatever may come, I will love this baby and do my best as a parent.

So, here we go :)

PS You can start laughing at us now :) I know not everyone we tell will react pleasently...Ya know I was even scared to tell Jake...so I emailed him...seriously. :)

Lucy at 5 months

2011-03-29T14:03:00.000-07:00

I can't believe that 5 months have passed and for some reason it feels much longer. Life has really started to slow down...less doctor offices and more home time. We just love her so much...

Right now Lucy is:

*Not eating solids. Solids weren't really Lucy's thing at four months so we are trying again now. Good luck to us!

*Not on a schedule. She does like to take 3 naps a day. She varies how long she sleeps for. But eating is an altogether other situation. She varies between how many ounces and hours in between she does every time. She gets pretty picky about eating...I think it is annoying but we are adjusting.

*Teething. Poor girl is having a hard time of it! Gillian was the same way.

*Sleeping better! She still wakes up to eat once a night, but because I married a rock star husband, he feeds her. She is really good about going back to sleep after she eats.

*Getting bigger! I am not sure of her actual weight. I did have to buy her new clothes though! She still is a tiny thing, but she has been putting on weight and getting taller. Her pencentiles are meager but my hope is that will start really fattening up with solids...that is if she will ever eat them!

*Showing her personality. I remember while she was in the hospital she was labled as "fiesty" and I guess you would be too if you had gone through all she had. But really she is so lovable and fun. Minus being sick or teething she has a happy dispostion. I love to hear her laugh.

*Not rolling over or sitting up by herself or doing much tum time. Oh well, she is getting close on rolling over and doing okay sitting up supported. I hate making her mad so it my fault about the tum time. Maybe she will start crawling around 12 months...haha.

Lincoln Turns 3

2011-03-28T13:46:00.000-07:00

He is just so cute!

I know this is so last month...hahaha...but Lincoln had a birthday!

As a family we celebrated by going to the Franklin Museum and then coming home to have pizza and cupcakes. He opened presents and we had a great time.

Too bad he keeps asking me when will he be having his Star Wars party (with friends...his realy party). Dang.

He insisted on helping make his cupcakes. He did a good job...

...Eating the cupcakes that is...

At the Franklin. She did a great job on that surf board!

He did good too. He just giggled the whole time.

Waiting in line.

He did really good kicking the ball each time...it just didn't go so far :)

REally cool spinning contraption that simulated what ice skaters expereince during their crazy in air spins! Gillian loved this!

Captin Cheese Ball

The loot.

Realizing this was his time to shine, he donned his sneeky smile.

Big bite!

Milk bubbles are always appropriate.

Opening presents.

I like this photo because both of us look ridiculous. He is super cheesed about Gillian giving him cards she found in his room and wrapped 5 minutes before he opened them.

Star. Wars. Action. Figures. Are. Awesome.

One of the most popular toys in the house. Seizures to come.

Lucy is...

2011-02-02T10:08:00.000-08:00

She goes by Lucy, LULU, Sweet Baby Lucy, Cutie Lucy, Sweets just to name a few. She loves to smile. She loves to be held...but she doesn't much like to sit up all that long...she prefers to play on the ground while staring up at you. She loves to sleep warm and cozy in her baby bag nightgown. She still loves to be swaddled. She has been sleeping most nights in her carseat but just made the transition to her bed. She doesn't believe in keeping a schedule...most everyday with her is new. She hates her reflux medicine and usually spits it out right when you think you have it all in. She is growing. She doesn't get tummy time very often...her parents are working on that one. Of course, she hates the tummy time she rarely gets. She loves her brother and sister...she smiles at them and coos at them and they eat. it. up. She is a joy and a treasure and we love her so much. She got an entire month off from seeing doctors (mommy was very happy). She will have a cardiology appointment this summer. She sees her surgeon this Spring. She is thriving. She still worries her mother....whenever she coughs...whenever she doens't want to eat occasionally...when she sleeps too long or not long enough. To look at her, you would never guess she went through the ordeal she did. She HATES to be bathed. She keeps me on my toes. She has had cold after cold since coming home. Really, she is like a normal baby...She will have trials ahead but for now she is perfect and doing well. We are truely enjoying having her in our family.

Aunt Hillary's Visit

2011-01-22T06:25:00.000-08:00

One of my sisters came to visit us recently. Jake, I and the kids have been craving a visit from any of our family members and we were so happy to have Aunt Hillary be the first one to visit us! She got to be here for Gillian's birthday party (previous post). I wanted to plan a lot of things to do but mostly we just hung out at home which was awesome! She also gave me a little break from Lucy duty...not that I don't love being with her all the time, I just needed a break. We made a ham and taco soup for her, which you might not think is a big deal but it is :) We ate entirely too much sugar from the birthday party leftovers...someone had to eat the rest of those cupcakes! And then all the frivolity stopped when Aunt Hillary got sick! She got a stomach bug the last night she was here. We felt horrible that she was sick. SHE felt horrible that she was sick. Her flight didn't leave until 6:30 that evening so we let her sleep as much as possible that day. Finally she got up and, like the trooper she is, got ready so we could take her to see some sights in downtown Philly. Which, you know, seemed like a great idea at the time. We got the kids packed up and Lucy had food enough to eat for two days :) and then we left. We thought we would take her to see the love sign that is famous here. So we paid $5 in parking and walked to the park where we were then bombarded by tons of people passing out food and coats to the homeless. It is an understatement to say that it was cold. It was Frigid! After feeling incredibly blessed have a home and warm clothes, we quickly posed for a few horrible family photos (after which I realized Lucy never made it into) and limped back to our car to go somewhere else. After we got in we realized the kids wouldn't last long at all unless we did something insde. So we went to the Franklin Institute down the road. Jake had previously done some consulting work there and had checked the place out so he knew it was awesome and we ended up getting a membership there. We had a lot of fun there! After that it was time to take Aunt Hillary to the airport. Everyone was pretty quiet for the ride there...Gillian was tearing up and so was I. When we got out to say goodbye Gillian lost it. She was crying and was so upset. We said our goodbyes and drove away. I hoped that her plane ride didn't go horribly wrong with her being sick and Gillian was crying most of the way home. It had been six months since we had seen any of our family. Apparently too long for us to go!

Love spelled backwards is still love.

The very small love sign. SO COLD!

Gillian loved the fossils in the Franklin.

He got so wet playing with this boat!

They had a train exibit with a full size HUGE steam engine from the 1930s. Lincoln didn't leave it and we had to drag him from it in the end.

So happy and curious.

Say cheese!

Look at the big bow ;)

Why yes, that IS lego Philidelphia in the background. Totally awesome, and so aren't we?

The actual Big Ben.

This one melts my heart.

Gillian Had a Birthday!

2011-01-21T12:44:00.000-08:00

Gillian was lucky enough to have a party for her birthday this year. Lucky you ask? Lucky because I must have been crazy to offer in the first place! I am still thrown off by three kids and all of a sudden I was supposed to throw a big party? Well...we did. I had lots of help. Gillian got lots of presents for her birthday but none bigger than having AUNT HILLARY visit! We flew her in for a visit and she was here for the party.( Hillary post soon) Basically she was on baby duty so I could bake and decorate and do all the other things that needed to be done.

Gillian decided on a How to Train Your Dragon theme for her party. I kinda wondered why she would do that...she is totally embracing her girly side...and then I realized at who she invited....ALL boys except one girl. She was Astrid for halloween though so it wasn't that surprising I guess. We had a lot of fun. We gave them swords and had them make shields. Jake put them through training exercises to defend themselves against a dragon attack. It all colmulated with a real dragon (pinata) attack where each kid had to defend themselves! We had so much fun!!!

Decorating the shields and getting ready for battle!

Hillary did a great job entertaining Lucy and being the guest of honor!

Lincoln thought it was silly to be blindfolded to hit the dragon...he also thought it was funny having to use a stick to kill the dragon...all he wanted to use was the force. :)

The dreaded dragon!

The birthday girl takes a swing!

It finally goes down! The kids went crazy (as they always do) trying to grab candy!

I tried my hand at making cupcakes from scratch. I made a batch of Martha Stewert one bowl chocolate cupcakes with peanut butter frosting. It was pretty yummy! Gillian also picked out birthday cake ice cream.

A friend made Gillian her very own special birthday cake...she loved it!

Gillian got a lot of cool presents! She had been scheming on that pillow pet for a long time!

Gillian knows how to tackle I mean say thank you!

bad mommy moments

2011-01-13T11:40:00.000-08:00

Okay people, its setting in now. 3 kids. THREE kids. THREE KIDS!!!!

I have become very overwhelmed. I am forgetting things...things to do like eat, take lincoln to preschool, a word to describe something, when Gillian gets home from school, how to spell simple words. Two plus months of no sleep have finally caught up with me and I am a grumpy mess of a mom.

Yesterday was a particularly bad day and I yelled and felt sorry for myself and missed opporunities to have fun with my kids and just enjoy being a mom. Today wsn't much better as I tried to force Gillian (yeah, I know what was I thinking) to just get it over with and pull that dangling tooth in her mouth out. I got really grumpy gus with her and I really feel bad about it. That isn't the mom I want to be! *sigh*

I think part of what is happening is that all the crazy amounts of stress that I have been under are decreasing since Lucy was born. I have time (ha ha) to realize how different my life is. You figure it would be opposite, that I would feel a burden lifted with Lucy progressing well (update on Lucy coming soon)
but here I am feeling burdened.

Does this make any sense???

I know it will get better and I will be able to handle three kids...and me too. I just totally respect everyone who is doing it too. Having one kid was hard for me. It was an adjustment being less selfish and putting someone ahead of myself. Adding another kid wasn't that big of a deal. This one though...

So think good thoughts for me and pray for me to have a good attitude because crazy happens, but that doesn't mean I have to be crazy too!!!

Benfield Kids Are Super Cute! (parents not so much)

2011-01-04T05:06:00.000-08:00

A little late maybe? (revised)

2010-12-24T09:29:00.000-08:00

Ha Ha Mom...

2010-12-06T07:57:00.000-08:00

Lucy decided she had enough of that tube down her throat and pulled it out...in a milisecond....while we watched (in both horror and amusement). Of course she has her appointment with her surgeon in a couple of days. I hope I don't get in trouble! We almost made it!

Life Goes On...Random Facts About the Benfield's 5

2010-11-30T13:11:00.000-08:00

*So we are finally home with Lucy...albeit a week after we thought we would be home originally.

*We spent 3 weeks at Children's Hospital. So glad to be out of there although with follow up visits and other issues that will eventually come up, it won't be the last we see of it.

*I have to admit being seriously stressed bringing her home. She has her ng tube and her reflux meds to give and remembering this and that. It felt like bringing a newborn home (even though she was 3 weeks) only amplified!

*At first Lucy only took half her feedings by mouth and we would have to put the rest down her ng tube. Not too long after being home though she began finishing all her bottles!

*Breast feeding her hasn't really gone as well...her high arch palate and inability to breastfeed until a few weeks in age has been a real challenge for us. So I am exclusively pumping for now. I go back and forth with what to do long term. I would love to actually breastfeed but I don't want to make this my "fight" if you will. Pumping is hard though...and I hate it...and it is hard to do it consistently while taking care of 3 kids. I will do it as long as I can. The important thing is she is growing and thriving at home.

*Gillian and Lincoln are enamoured of sweet Lucy. They love to sing and coo and fuss over her. They love to help me take care of her!

*Lucy really is a good sleeper. She LOVES to be held and this is something that I usually indulge her in because she had weeks of her life where she wasn't held. (still makes me tear up)

*Even though Lucy is a good sleeper, she has "cranky" time each night between the hours of 6-8pm....which coincides with Lincoln's "cranky" time and Gillian's "cranky" time...which leads to MY cranky time.

*I am really tired.

*Right now our kids are totally obesessed with Star Wars...seriously.

*Life is really good right now.

Now, for your very much viewing pleasure:

Lucy loves to smile (but only at mommy so far).

Lucy's hair is a big curley fro when it is wet!

haha!

'loving' bath time.

These two are the best big siblings!

tracheoesophageal fistula (TEF)

2010-11-11T16:21:00.000-08:00

Soon after we had sweet Lucy we realized there was a problem. She had secretions coming up all the time. At first the doctors thought she had just swallowed a big mouthful of amniotic fluid before she was born but hope of that soon faded and she displayed other problems. She was moved to the special nursery the first night of her life. From there I received numerous phone calls from Lucy's pediatrician letting me know what test they were running next. First they tried a chest x-ray to check for pnemonia. Finally in the early morning hours they told me they were sending Lucy for an upper GI. Looking back, I think they expected to find what they did. I am so thankful that the doctors were able to find what was wrong with Lucy.

After that test they determined that Lucy had a tracheoesophageal fistula or TEF. Basically, Her esophagus ended in a pouch that didn't connect to her stomach and Her stomach attached to her lung.

Needless to say Jake and I were shocked to hear this. I knew early on the first day of her life that something wasn't right, but I had no idea that this condition even existed and that Lucy had it. Things moved very quickly from that point. A couple hours later she was in an abulance (with Jake) on her way to Children's Hospital of Philadelphia (CHOP). I won't go into what happened until the next afternoon when I finally got to be with her at CHOP...suffice it to say worry and a large amount of tears were shed.

On the second day of her life, Lucy had surgery to repair her esophagus and seperate her lung from her stomach. I tried to stay calm while she was in surgery, trying to manage my pain from my c-section and start pumping to try to establish a milk supply for Lucy. I am so thankful for Jake keeping me held together. Lucy's surgery was a sucess...thank you Dr. Nance! Now we just had to recover....me and Lucy.

It has been just over two weeks since that day...and we are almost at the finish line! We have begun the checklist to get prepared for Lucy's discharge. I honestly don't know how I got to this point...it all seems like a big blur. This is what I do know: our family has been blessed in a million times since we had Lucy join us here on earth. In the midst of the pain and anger and frustration that I have dealt with since this happened, I know that I have had angels with me. Every time I started to loose it, I would feel a sense of calm come over me so that I could focus on taking care of myself and Lucy (as much as I could). Heavenly Father has a plan for me and my family. Jake and I knew that making this move to a place we have never been far away from everything and one that we knew would be an adventure, but we are now realizing that we have also been sent her to have new experiences and challenges and also to be blessed. While all this was happening, people were dropping off food to our house annomously and many helped out by watching our kids all day. Our ward family supported us in a tremendous time of need and I will always be thankful for their help.

Now as we come towards the end of Lucy's hospitalization, I can't believe how incredibly blessed and loved I feel. I know Heavenly Father lives and loves me. I am so thankful for my Savior for his atonement. I know that He knows my pain, as he suffered it in the Garden that night. I am so thankful for my eternal family.

Introducing Lucy

2010-11-02T07:42:00.000-07:00

Lucy Reneau Benfield

5 pounds 15 ounces

18 1/2 inches

born 8:15am

October 26th 2010

No Baby Yet....

2010-10-20T15:49:00.000-07:00

My life right now:

Every once in a while I feel benevolent:

But usually I feel l ike a neverending ticking time bomb.

Let Us Be Men--MormonMessages

2010-10-14T13:29:00.000-07:00

I was touched watching this. I am so grateful to my husband for the sacrafices he makes to better me and his children. He is a great example to me in my life. I love you Jake.

Church Responds to HRC Petition

2010-10-12T12:47:00.000-07:00

Church Responds to HRC Petition (for direct link)

**I thought this was well written and hopefully will be well received on whatever "side" you may be on**

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints issued the following statement through a spokesman following the delivery of a petition by the Human Rights Campaign:

My name is Michael Otterson. I am here representing the leadership of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to address the matter of the petition presented today by the Human Rights Campaign.

While we disagree with the Human Rights Campaign on many fundamentals, we also share some common ground. This past week we have all witnessed tragic deaths across the country as a result of bullying or intimidation of gay young men. We join our voice with others in unreserved condemnation of acts of cruelty, or attempts to belittle or mock any group or individual that is different – whether those differences arise from race, religion, mental challenges, social status, sexual orientation, or for any other reason. Such actions simply have no place in our society.

This Church has felt the bitter sting of persecution and marginalization early in our history, when we were too few in numbers to adequately protect ourselves and when society’s leaders often seemed disinclined to help. Our parents, our young adults, teens and children should therefore, of all people, be especially sensitive to the vulnerable in society and be willing to speak out against bullying or intimidation whenever it occurs, including unkindness towards those who are attracted to others of the same sex. This is particularly so in our own Latter-day Saint congregations. Each Latter-day Saint family and individual should carefully consider whether their attitudes and actions toward others properly reflect Jesus Christ’s second great commandment - to love one another.

As a church, our doctrinal position is clear: any sexual activity outside of marriage is wrong, and we define marriage as between a man and a woman. However, that should never, ever be used as justification for unkindness. Jesus Christ, whom we follow, was clear in his condemnation of sexual immorality, but never cruel. His interest was always to lift the individual, never to tear down.

Further, while the Church is strongly on the record as opposing same-sex marriage, it has openly supported other rights for gays and lesbians such as protections in housing or employment.
The Church’s doctrine is based on love. We believe that our purpose in life is to learn, grow and develop, and that God’s unreserved love enables each of us to reach our potential. None of us is limited by our feelings or inclinations. Ultimately, we are free to act for ourselves.

The Church recognizes that those of its members who are attracted to others of the same sex experience deep emotional, social, and physical feelings. The Church distinguishes between feelings or inclinations on the one hand, and behavior on the other. It’s not a sin to have feelings, only in yielding to temptation.
There is no question that this is difficult, but Church leaders and members are available to help lift, support and encourage fellow members who wish to follow Church doctrine. Their struggle is our struggle. Those in the Church who are attracted to someone of the same sex but stay faithful to the Church’s teachings can be happy during this life and perform meaningful service in the Church. They can enjoy full fellowship with other Church members including attending and serving in temples, and ultimately receive all the blessings afforded to those who live the commandments of God

Obviously, some will disagree with us. We hope that any disagreement will be based on a full understanding of our position, and not on distortion or selective interpretation. The Church will continue to speak out to ensure its position is accurately understood.
God’s universal fatherhood and love charges each of us with an innate and reverent acknowledgement of our shared human dignity. We are to love one another. We are to treat each other with respect as brothers and sisters and fellow children of God, no matter how much we may differ from one another.

We hope and firmly believe that within this community, and in others, kindness, persuasion and goodwill can prevail.

A little of what is going on over here.

2010-10-05T07:44:00.000-07:00

Jake got a new camera with his start up money and he got some good shots of the kids while getting used to the camera.

We went to free museum day at The Academy of Natural Sciences. It was super fun! Although, a "free" day at the museum ended up costing around $50 after gas, food and parking. Oh well, we had a lot of fun! Gillian is really into dinosaurs right now (it must be the age) so this was the perfect place to take her! She loves The Land Before Time and her favorite dinosaur is Sara, the triceratops. She plays dinosaurs, she reads about them, dreams about them and asks endless questions that I can't answer about them.

Gillian posing with Sara and holding Sara :)

They also had a butterfly exibit. I almost suffocated in there with the heat and humidity. Way too pregnant for that! They had a great time chasing the butterflies.

We also had a chance to get the the temple before the baby is born! It was something I didn't think would happen so I was thrilled to get to go. Our temple district is Washington D.C. (Not bad right?) Our Primary had a trip planned to go, to visit the grounds and visitor center. It was September 11th, Patriot Day and a gorgeous day! Jake and I got to help with the kids and then we had some friends take our kids so we could go inside the temple. It was amazing. I am so thankful we could go and serve in the temple and that we could bring our kids there to feel the hapiness and peace felt there.

Speaking of church matters...we are settling in very nicely in our new ward. We are amazed at the friendship and kindness we have been shown since being here a very short time. I am impressed with the strength of this ward and look forward to learning from these members. We (finally) got our callings in church we me helping out in the Activities Committee and Jake serving as Young Men President. We also have spoke in church! Lincoln loves nursery and Gillian always has something to tell us she learned in Primary. We are so thankful to be in this ward.

I am 37 weeks pregnant now. Physically, I don't feel too bad...most of the time. The usual complaints of pregnancy are there but I for some reason am not looking forward to going into labor. :) Gillian and Lincoln I think are tired of us talking endlessly about the baby and planning for and preparing for this unknown being. They will figure it out soon enough though.

Gillian is loving school. I am not so much...she spends hours away from me riding the bus and in class that I am not a part of. It is a sad time for me in that respect...and I am so thankful she isn't in all day kindergarten! She is learning a lot and really enjoys her art class and gym of course! Lincoln is also doing a preschool of sorts done by a group of women from church. He goes two days a week and loves it! We each take a month and have the class in our homes. Thankfully, my month isn't until March :)

Our family is blossoming in every way. We are learning hard lessons and being stretched...me more than others...We are looking forward to having this baby and entering into a crazy family of five! Wish us luck!

It's Baby Month

2010-10-02T19:50:00.001-07:00

It is finally here...the month of October where we will have our third child welcomed into our family. In many ways, this pregnancy has felt short and then again it has taken for-ev-er! Now as I count down the days...hours...mintues..SECONDS until the baby takes over my world, I feel vunerable and scared and utterly unprepared. I am scared to go into labor...I am scared of the pain, the problems that can arise with delivery, I am worried that the baby won't be "perfect"...mostly I am scared of the unknown.

I am so excited to meet this new little person fresh from up above...I am scared to meet this new little person from up above. Everything will change. Our family will never be the same again. I mourn for the family we were and at the same time embrace what we will be soon.

What will this new little teach me?

Will I become a better Mom? I hope.

Will this make our family stronger? I pray.

Little One, I will always remember what a miracle you were to me at a time in my life when I was struggling. I will always remember your ridiculous movements at the 10pm hour. I will always remember carrying through some of the hardest times of my life and how no matter how hard it was moving away from all our family and friends how you made it feel better for me. How much I love you already.

I can't wait to hold you in my arms.

A funny thing happened on the way to the ultrasound appointment....

2010-09-23T12:01:00.000-07:00

So I am nearing the end of this pregnancy..only a few more weeks left :) I know, technically I could have as many as 4 weeks left but seriously, I am not going there. We were told we were having another little boy but a funny thing happened today while getting an ultrasound today. I was there to make sure baby's head was down so I could still be in the running for a VBAC (vaginal delivery after cesarean) and while I was there the ultrasound tech did all the usual things...measuring and looking at all the important parts, placenta etc. While she was doing her thing she casually asked what we were expecting and I told her a boy.

She kinda smiled and said, "I hope you didn't run out and buy out the store."

Me in reply: "Oh yeah?"

Laughing a little now, "It looks like you are having a girl."

She then showed me on the monitor what looked like a girl. Wow. Of course she told me that she couldn't be 100% sure, but she also said that she has never been wrong. She then had another tech to double check what she had found. Funny enough, the other techs name was Gillian. I thought it to be a sign that MY Gillian was going to get her way afterall. She also told me she thought it was a girl.

So now we wait....you know how found I am of waiting.

So what do you guys think? Girl or Boy? Cause I honestly don't know what to think now!

Yeah, about that....and some random deep thoughts

2010-08-22T07:18:00.000-07:00

So, I apparently haven't done a great job keeping the blog updated, which makes me sad. Not because I expect people to be drooling over ready the juicy (not) tidbits of my life, but that I want to have it chronicled in some way for my family to remember later. I have never (since early high school) kept a journal consistently. I guess that might be because some of the things we go through in life are painful and aren't pleasent to dwell upon. I wish I would have done a better job in retrospect because I think maybe by reviewing expereinces that happened in the past, I might have made better choices later on. It is not fun living with regret...so I guess all I can do is try harder and be better now.

Our little family is settling in nicely here. We have made friends and have had dinners, playdates, dates and lots of afternoons at the pool. Jake starts teaching officially tomorrow at Penn State. I am so excited for him! Gillian still has two weeks left until school starts for her...she gets to ride the bus, which she is excited for. Lincoln is finally getting his two-year-old molars in so he is a bundle of joy ;) Actually, he is doing great. We'll see how he does when the baby comes. I have about two months left before our baby boy makes his appreance. I really thought that I would still feel pretty overwhemed with all the major changes in our lives but really I have come to grips with everything...or else maybe I am just really tired. Either way a nice sense of calm has entered in and I am grateful. I am so excited to meet this miracle we have created.

Our new ward has been a lot of fun. After being in our old one for so long it is refreshing to get to meet and get to know so many new people. Jake and I still don't have callings...six weeks and nothing yet. I am ready though to contribute some way and excited to see where we both end up serving. Last night Jake and I both got to go to our Stake's adult session of conference. I don't know the last time both of us got to do something like that together...maybe not since we have had kids! It was one of those meetings where I knew I was supposed to be there. I needed to hear what was being said...probably from every talk given. I remember when Jake and I talked in the very beginning about moving here and thinking to ourselves what we could teach these people out here in the East...I know pretty arrogant...but I realize now how much I don't know and how much I have to learn. I think that is why I love going to church and being a member of this church...I always come away with something to work on, to improve on. Even though I might not express it enough, I am thankful for the truthfullness of the gospel of Jesus Christ and how it centers me. It is a wonderful feeling to know that this church is led and guided by His hand and that I too can be given inspiration to guide and direct my choices in this life. There have been many times in my life that I haven't used this gift and tried to do it all on my own. Sometimes it has turned out okay, but for the most part I was so prideful I led myself to ruin instead of asking for help. How thankful I am now, to be where I am supposed to be.

I can now say I am thankful we moved here. I ( as well as my entire family) have things we need to learn and experience here. I know it will not be easy, it hasn't been easy but I do trust Heavenly Father who guided us here. I know he has a plan for us here, and however small and inconsequential it might be on everyone else's lives, I know it is important to Him.

Arrived.

2010-07-18T15:20:00.000-07:00

So we have arrived and we are settling in as much as possible. We are getting a lot unpacked and trying to make this place feel like home quickly even though I am exhausted most of the time. This humidity..I tell ya! (On the upside, my skin is pretty now) The kids are adjusting...Gillian has already made a friend and Lincoln will go a play without one of us being there with him to make sure we won't leave him. Jake is looking forward to getting into his office on campus...poor guys needs to get some work done and apparently this isn't the best setting for him to do that ;) I will try to blog more to keep everyone in the loop...but be patient with me because the one complaint I have is just being plain tired...

nuff said.

The End is Upon Us (A Goodbye Post)

2010-07-04T13:01:00.000-07:00

So we have made it to the end. The movers come tomorrow and we leave a day or so after that. I can't believe we are here and it is actually time to leave our home of 10+ years. So much has happened since we have lived in Fort Collins...we moved here as newlyweds and had two of our babies here. Jake earned all his degrees here. I have made lifelong friendships here. I have loved living here but it is time to go!

It is kinda funny how at a certain point in preparing to move you just reach a point, no matter how sad or scared you are to leave, you are just ready. So it is with us. We are just so ready to leave to and see what life lies before us.

Gillian is for and against the move depending on what mood she is in. Lincoln has no clue what is going on except he thinks we are taking away all his toys and lovies. It is just impossible to explain to a 2 year old moving across the country.

Jake is super excited to leave and I am not looking forward to days upon days in the car traveling...yuck.

I hate being melodramatic ( I at least don't admit to it), so I will just say a simple goodbye and skip the dramatics. I will miss this life but I am hopeful for the next chapter. Wish us luck!!!!

Massive Update #5 (Pennsylvania Trip)

2010-05-30T16:29:00.000-07:00

Jake and I went out to Pennsylvania to find a place to live and for Jake to sign some HR paperwork at the college and for me to get an idea of what I am getting myself into out there. The trip went well and we found a place, the end. Just kidding. Really, it was a hard trip for me with all the traveling in the plane and in the car all day and being in a different climate while being pregnant. I can tell you this...we wouldn't have been able to do it with the kids so many, many thanks to my dear, sweet friend Korryn. ( You are the best!) I don't like to fly...which is an understatement...but I survived even though I thought we would crash landing in Denver on the way back. Landing in Denver in 55 mile hour wind gusts is not a good idea and when your captin comes on and says buckle in for the SEVERE TURBULANCE, he isn't kidding. Thank goodness it is over!!! And I didn't puke on the plane!

Pennsylvania is so green! I love it and I love the humidity. What I didn't like were all the bugs everywhere, but then, again I am used to it. I definately has a different feel about it then here in Colorado. It is hard to explain. It takes forever to get anywhere. We were in the car all day. And to make it worse, we were completely lost. We couldn't get down the street without help. Many thanks to Garmin for making a superb GPS system! I thought that what we did see was beautiful. I am excited about all the history that this state offers too! We are so close to our country's historical sites as well as some church sites as well. I can't wait to visit all of them!

We looked at tons of places but settled on one in the northern suburbs of Philidelphia, in Lansdale. It is a condo with almost twice as much space as we are in now. It has a lot of ammenities and a really nice feel about it. Gillian's new elementary school is right down the street. The only drawback is the 30 minute commute for Jake to get to work. Although, we did learn it takes about that time to get anywhere! I think we will be very happy there.

We met with Jake's collegues at Penn State. We were treated with lunch and good company. I loved meeting everyone! Jake got his paperwork done and I got a brief tour of the campus. Jake will definately get a workout there!

I was never so glad to get home though! I missed my babies something fierce! We are currently trying to pin down a moving company but it looks like we are out of here the first week of July! I am excited/nervous/scared/upset/relieved to leave here and start out life out in Pennsylvania. I will miss all my family and friends here. I am scared to be having a baby out there without any of those people with me. But I know this is what our family is supposed to do. It is the right move for us no matter how difficult it may be for me personally. It is an unsettling feeling knowing that I have to start all over again learning the simplest of things like where our church building is or how to find it, or where the grocery store is. I pray our family will find fast friends and learn to be happy no matter our difficulties. Moving is hard people. Wish us luck!

Massive Update #4 (Gillian's big update!)

2010-05-30T16:03:00.001-07:00

Gillian has had a lot going on lately! She just finished preschool! She has been really busy with classes here and there and playing outside as much as possible! She is a ball of energy. In fact, the last day of school this year, her teacher presented all the kids with certificates of achievement and Gillian received one for her enthusiasm. Yes, that's right, Gillian received an AWARD for being a crazy, excitable and spastic child. That's my girl! Here are some pictures of the last few months!

Gillian recently learned how to ride her bike without training wheels! Actually I think she has been ready for a while because she didn't actually have any problems at all without the wheels. (dang lazy parents...) Gillian really biffed iton her bike! She doesn't do well with blood and she wouldn't let us take a picture of the boo boo without it being covered up.

Gillian and her teach Ms. Lorna

Gillian and Emily and Justin (her boyfriend...)

Girl Teilor! (There was a boy named Taylor in her class too and this is what they decided to call them)

Ms. Katie and Emily

Massive Update #3 (Gillian and Lincoln bond)

2010-05-30T16:02:00.000-07:00

So Jake and I left the kids for 4 days with friends while we scoped out the scene in Pennsylvania. I wasn't sure how the two of them would do...they can be kinda crazy. Basically everything went well except that Gillian forgot how to sleep ;) Jake and I came back to some major bonding between the two of them! For the first day or two Gillian kissed every boo boo of Lincoln's and made sure he had what he wanted when he wanted it. She really takes good care of her brother! It been a week since we've been back and they are fighting a bit more but I also get to see such sweet kindness between the two of them. I look back fondly on growing up with my brothers and sisters (although good grief we fought a lot!) and it is good to see that it is the same so far for my kids!

lincoln just woke up from his nap and went straight to find Bean. They cuddles like that for quite a while. I oogled over them :)

bath time buddies.

holding hands on the couch.

One of our friends cut their hair AND painted their faces! She is so talented :)

Massive Update #2 (Lincoln update)

2010-05-30T15:42:00.000-07:00

(A messy face but a dang cute one! Pictured with Goo Goo the bat)

Good grief! Lincoln has turned 2 and I never blogged about it. (Bad Mommy!) We had a small party for him which he loved! What can I say about Lincoln? He is a crazy kid! I am definately beginning to understand the many differences between boys and girls and how much Gillian and Lincoln's personalities differ. He dotes on his sister. He follows her around and repeats everything she says. Recently Jake and I took a trip out to Pennsylvania to secure housing among other things and we left them with our friends. I wasn't too thrilled about this trip (long story) and didn't want to leave my babies but they did a great job without us. When Jake and I got back we noticed how bonded Gillian and Lincoln were. I have caught them being kind and sweet and hugging and cuddling on the couch. It tears me up thinking about how close they have become...now don't let this fool you, they still fight like cats and dogs on occasion but it makes me so thankful the love I see between the two of them. So here is a montage of Lincoln for the last few months!

Lincoln's party was a Spongebob theme...it was a lot of fun! I hung seaweed from the ceiling and put bubbles on the walls...and bought a pineapple. I know, I know, mother of the year right? ;)

Lincoln got this scooter for his birthday this year! Sad to say that it hardly gets used because he prefers Gillian's pink one instead ;)

I just thought this was funny of Lincoln taking cinamographic control over filming Gillian swim.

Lincoln is just like his dad...he can sleep at any time and at any place. No joke!

Massive Update #1 (Gillian learns to swim and ice skate)

2010-05-30T14:55:00.001-07:00

In April we had Gillian in a couple of classes. She did some swimming and ice skating. Here are some vidoes to show her journey. This is the first time she had ever been ice skating. It really touched me how no matter how many times she fell, she always got back up again and tried again. At her last class she did pretty well! I am so proud of her :)

My Man is the Beez Neez!

2010-05-04T12:19:00.000-07:00

I have a super duper burning love people!

I couldn't find enough time or words or space to tell you how much I adore, love, respect and appreciate Jake. He is my best friend. He has always supported me and loved me no matter what (and sometimes when I didn't deserve it). He sacrafices so much for me and our children. He has always worked as many jobs to support us, even when that meant absolutely no free time for himself. He is selfless and kind and a good man. Without him I would be lost. He is a great father and he makes me love him more and more when I see him with the kids. He is the leader of our family and holds the priesthood which makes me feel safe and secure. For his birthday this year he told me he didn't want a thing. Until we took Gillian's training wheels off her too-small-for-her bike and she did so well he wants to buy her a bigger one....for HIS birthday. I know that doesn't make him eligible for sainthood or anything, it just shows me what a special person he is. As we are nearing our big upheaval east, and while I am slowly crumpling under the stress of trying to hold it together, he is calm and helps me to be as well. He deals with me being overly emotional through this pregnancy (for his sake I hope I can stop crying all the time soon!) and doesn't tell me I am crazy. He is the best and the best gift that I have ever been blessed with. I thank Heavenly Father for him every day.

Happy birthday Jake!

Nothing Clever or pithy here....just PREGNANT!!!

2010-04-21T13:22:00.000-07:00

So yeah, its been 5 weeks since my last post...and 5 weeks since i found out I was pregnant! I suck at keeping secrets so I found it hard to share anything on the blog without it involving how I was feeling or doing. So we are into the 2nd trimester and things seems good with the baby so we are sharing the happy news! Still tired, getting less sick but its hard to eat. Oh, did I mention I am tired?

This pregnancy was a complete surprise! After I found out that I needed surgery to remove my gall bladder we thought the last thing we should do is get pregnant. With the move and everything we thought we should wait to try again. Apparently Heavenly Father had different plans. (I am totally thrilled about that!) I actually didn't find out I was pregnant until I was 8 weeks along. Every symptom I had I blamed on recovering from my surgery.

In retrospect, how could I not know. But you have to understand that I have never been able to conceive without fertility medication because of my PCOS. I didn't even know my body was capable of doing it on its own! So after the shock wore off (is it yet?) Jake and I were thrilled. I feel ridiculously blessed. The timing isn't what we had planned but I couldn't think of any other thing in the world that would make me more happy than to have another precious baby. I can't wait! At least I have a cross-country move to prepare for to keep me busy ;)

On a funny note, while preparing for this move I recently went through a bunch of baby clothes and maternity clothes and gave most of the baby stuff away as well as all of my maternity clothes. All of this while I was PREGNANT!!!! I guess its yoga pants throughout this pregnancy!

So here begins the journey for the 3rd time!!!

Words to live by...

2010-03-14T13:01:00.001-07:00

Expect the unexpected.

Where I'm At...

2010-03-10T18:09:00.000-08:00

Someone very important to me mentioned (after complaining about what I'm not, what I haven't done, and basically feeling sorry for myself) that I need to appreciate where I'm at RIGHT NOW. Right now?

Right now I'm:

*eating horribly
*not exercising
*not great at reading my scriptures
*not the best wife
*not the Mom I want to be
*t-i-r-e-d
*unmotivated
*making progress on decluttering/donating our home
*excited and terrified for the move
*sad about choices in my past
*totally in love with my husband
*love my children
*love my flawed life
*feeling incredibly blessed to be a woman and to have freedom
*wanting to change every facet of my life that I have made it something I can't succeed at

So what did this very important person say after I gave them my list of where I'm at?

Embrace it. This is where I am at. I struggle and am not good at some things...and THAT'S OKAY.

Its okay.

I'm okay.

Moving..[insert puking noises here]

2010-03-03T09:19:00.000-08:00

I realize we aren't moving for another 4 months, a third of a year. I do. But I am a planner and obsessor and overall certifiable person and so I have begun the process of sorting and going through and making my house a complete wreck. We are trying to clear out the storage unit (to save money and just be done cleaning it out) and already have a massive amount to sell and donate. We need to know how much stuff we have so we can book our movers. It is honestly embarrassing to be the owner of

so much stuff!!

Last night as I was trying to unwind and fall asleep I kept on having visions of boxes and stuff laying around everywhere...I had this image in my head:

Remember that crazy lady? Well, I do.

Maybe I should have waited to start this whole process until next month or something. I don't know. Maybe that is the reason I started eating skittles yesterday morning for breakfast...

Anyway, you can't stop what has already been put into motion . I can tell you one thing...we won't be the owners of so much stuff when we leave this place! I do happen to love to purge. It is so liberting to get rid of things you don't need or use. It's just stuff ya know? I wish I could remember that montra when purchasing said items!

Trying to convince my kids that getting rid of half their toys is another thing...poor Gillian. We were getting ready to go to the storage unit to clean it out and I said, "Let's go!" and she said, "Are we moving right now?" like we would just decide in the middle of the day to just leave. She just doesn't have any concept. This is the only place she knows and remembers so she doesn't want to leave it. This move will be challenging for our family but at least we have time to prepare and get used to the idea of leaving.

Pretty soon if you come to my house we will have boxes everywhere and it will be chaotic and a mess (which things become my kryptonite) and I will be trying to hold it together so my kids and husband don't think I am completely losing my mind. If you come by I will probably start bribing you with money if you'll just pack my kitchen for me (which I think is the worst room in the entire house to pack). While talking to you I might suddenly burst into tears realizing that I will be moving soon. I might forget my name or start packing things that I will need to be using before we actually leave. Don't worry, this is all normal behavior....at least that is what I will be telling myself.

Did she just get proposed to?

2010-02-18T13:05:00.000-08:00

So there is a little boy who adores Gillian at school. His Mom likes to tell me all about how he talks about Gillian all the time at home. Today his Mom came up to me while we were waiting to pick them up from school to tell me that Justin had something to give to Gillian after school (and without any of the other kids watching). She told me that he needed to give Gillian flowers because they would need them when they got married. She asked him if she was his girlfriend and he said yes because they were getting married someday. How cute! Apparently they are betrothed.

Of course Gillian didn't give much reaction (but did remember by herself to say thank you). She probably thinks she will always have people just giving her nice things I guess. Hehehe. Ah to be young and in love :)

Why I Think Amy Poehler Should Be My Celebrity BFF

2010-02-18T12:56:00.000-08:00

So you think I might be crazy for wanting a celebrity for a best friend? Maybe. But I am telling you, we could totally be best friends. Here is why:

Amy happens to star in one of my favorite t.v. shows. She is funny and akward and makes me laugh out loud. Yes, I know that is her character (but it has to be based on her somehow, right?)

Oh, right...she is HALARIOUS. I need a celebrity best friend that makes me laugh, and not just make me jealous. She married a funny man too. She does happen to be beautiful (not that it factors into my BFF scale).

She happens to be a mom! See, there is something we have in common! She happens to have a career and a degree and altogether different life than me, but there is something right?

Oh yeah, and in her free time she likes to cook and watch Food Network...I am totally with her there.

Look people, I'm not asking for you to sign a petition or anything, just know that I think we should be best friends if only for the fact that she would make me pee myself laughing everyday. It could happen...And Amy, if you read this someday...look me up you can buy me lunch.

Penn State Baby!

2010-01-27T15:43:00.000-08:00

WE GOT A JOB!!!!

*DISCLAIMER* (I can't promise I won't spaz during this post.)

We are thrilled to be taking a job at Penn State-Abington. It is located just north of Philadelphia, Pennsylavnia. Jake starts his job this fall as an assistant professor. We start our new life this summer! It has been a long road to get through undergraduate then to graduate level and then to have to move onto a post doc...but after all that hard work and sacrifice our family is being blessed in the best possible way!

We are totally excited to see what this cross country move will do for us. We are optimistic and ecstatic at the prospect of the growth and learning our family will be able to take part in. We are so thankful for our blessings and are so thankful that we got to spend so much time here in Fort Collins. We have made eternal friendships (you can't get rid of us that quickly) and have had so much fun while being here.

Jake is so excited to start his career here and we look forward to laying down roots and buying a home eventually. I won't lie and say I am not scared to death--but that is why I think it is the right choice. Sometimes the scariest choice is the one that will lead to the most growth. It is weird being so sad and reluctant to say good bye and so excited and ready to accept the future.

So, thank you to the people who recognized what a brilliant and smart and wonderful man I married and decided to hire him! Pennsylvania: See ya soon!

YAF por vida!

2010-01-26T11:58:00.000-08:00

Hi, my name is Cheramie and I am a bookaholic. It is true people. I have read 5 books in the last week. (wow.) Reading for me is pure pleasure. It releases me from stress and anxiety of life and gives me an outlet. One day I may be so inspired and end up writing my own book, but not fiction...I only tell true life. Anyway, here are my latest finds in YA fiction (which I have been stuck on since Stephenie Meyer came into my life). I promise to branch out soon...if you have any suggestions to help me I would love to hear them!

I waited forever to read Percy Jackson. A kid series I said (not far away from the teen section that I can pull myself away from lol). I really really liked this series. The first movie comes out February 12th! Can't wait to see it! Overall the books were really entertaining! Percy is a great character.

I was blessed with a ridiculous ammount of B&N gift card money this Christmas and I got crazy and bought a lot of books! This is one I bought without knowing much about it. First of all, this is not part of a series! I know weird right? Everything seems to be a series now. (I don't really mind) Anyway, I really liked this book. Some of it was a bit far fetched...even for a supernatural thriller...but I really liked the plot. Overall, a great read.

Have I mentioned Wings before? No? Weird. I loved it! Another series (of course) but I am really excited about this one. The author is Mormon and I read her blog...she is quite funny. Anyway, this is a book about fairies. Can't wait til the next book comes out!!!

I picked up Fallen because of the striking cover art! Isn't it gorgeous? Love it. Anyway, the book itself was really good. Yet. Another. Series. I should go into publishing and make some cash! This one is about angels...which apparently is a big trend now (finally taking the limelight away from vampires and werewolves). I have to say I really loved this book. They have a lot to explain in the next two books and I am really excited to see what happens next! Great read.

I was really excited to buy this book. I didn't know much about it and no one reccomended this book to me so sometimes that can turn out to be a bad thing...however, this was a really cute book. I am sure that isn't probably how they wanted this book to be characterized as. The book is set in the deep south and it is a character in and of itself. Oh, I bet you could have guessed this was a series right? Right. I liked this book a whole lot.

Just saw this book and was intriqued. It was okay. I liked the premise...really I did. I just didn't fall in love with it. It was an interesting read though. I will read the sequel...I did get sucked in.

Okay, time to break down and admit that I loved Hush, Hush so much I went to the author's book signing! It was SO cool to meet an author of a book that you loved reading. She was a really really nice lady, who happens to hail from Fort Collins no less! (No I didn't fly off to an exotic location and stalk her! I would totally never do anything like that....yet.) I really adored her book, which is book one in the series. Cannot wait to read the next book!

These are what I am going to read next. I will let you all (5) of you know how it is. I am excited about them.

Now you know my problem. Maybe one day I will grow up and read adult books...but until then I will be the one you want to ask about Young Adult Fiction.

Gillian's 5th Birthday Party!

2010-01-12T13:23:00.000-08:00

Gillian invited her friends via email this year...proving that mom is indeed lazy because she refused to by stamps.

Gillian's reaction to this cake was classic! I was so happy to see that she loved it! I had gotten all the decorations up and the cake out and she looked at me and said, "Wow Mom, you must really love me!" to which I said, "Duh!"

She received such nice gifts...thank you so much for them! She didn't want to go to school this morning because she was busy playing with them :)

Thank you to all that came and made this evening so much fun for us! I was telling everyone Jake and I are gonna make more excuses to see everyone so we will be having lots of get togethers soon!

Gillian June

2010-01-11T19:40:00.001-08:00

Today is your birthday. I can't believe you are 5 now! I won't lie and tell you that I didn't cry dropping you off at school as you told me you could do everythng yourself. You are the best thing to ever happen to me that I never knew I needed so much. You challenge me and love me when I fail as a parent and teach me so many things. Being your parent is rewarding and scary and beautiful all at the same time. You are willful and assertive and demanding and that is just what Heavenly Father knew I needed. I know I am a better person because of you. Thank you so much for being in my family and wanting me for your mommy. I know I complain but I love you so much and I am so thankful to have you. You are my miracle...I never knew if I could ever have you. We tried for a long time to have you and you have been the best fruit of any labor. So with all that said, I can't wait to see what you become as you are older. What interests you have how much you will teach me and I hope that I can be a better mother to you. I hope I can live up to the standard that Heavenly Father has set of his mothers and fathers. I love you.

Christmas Wrap-up

2009-12-30T15:02:00.000-08:00

We had a lovely Christmas. It was a time spent with family and friends. The kids made out like bandits and Jake and I received some really nice gifts as well. We ate well...especially me with no more gall bladder to give me pain. I was still in a little residual pain from the surgery and pretty tired but was so happy to have my family around me to make life easier. I am so thankful we were able to have this Christmas at Jake's dad's house because we might not be back for the holidays next year.

Poor Jake....this was him all morning trying to get everything put together and work.

So many presents!

One of the coolest presents Gillian got wasn't even from Santa. Her Grandpa gave her a Disney princess digital camera! It is seriously cool! Here are her picture chronicling her Christmas experience:

Aunt Bristol!

Uncle Brian looking so serene even after playing that video game;)

The infamous Uncle John!

Aunt Hillary.

So cute.

She got me!

Gillian's favorite princess :)

She always does this...I promise I have never let her watch America's Next Top Model...

oops....we got caught!

Uncle Summit!

Aunt Liz!

Grandma Benfield!

Grandpa!
I am sure he just loves to see that crown atop his head :)

"Look surprised Gillian!"

weird.

Got presents?

Thanks Uncle John

2009-12-30T14:48:00.001-08:00

My sister Hillary was in town for Christmas with her fiance :) and they came up to see us before flying back up to Seattle. We are sort of out of a car (it is in the shop) so I needed her to take me to do some shopping and such. I wanted to leave Lincoln and put him down for a nap and take Gillian with Hillary and I so John wouldn't have to watch them both but the opposite happened. Lincoln pretty much wouldn't let go of Hillary so we took him and left Gillian with Uncle John and Uncle Summit to play the Wii. So Hillary and I took off and went to Walmart. I tried to hurry but I am still on the mend so I took a long time getting around plus I just couldn't concentrate and forgot what I was there for so it took forever. We finally got back and they left and Jake came home.

I was at that point dead on the bed, totally exhausted from the shopping trip and unable to watch what the kids were really doing in the living room...which obviously wasn't the best choice...I just couldn't move. Jake went in after checking on me to talk to the kids about there day and he walked in on Gillian and Lincoln chugging down a dr. pepper...each one of them had their own cans. Needless to say he was angry and asked why she would be doing that. She said it was hers and Uncle John had given it to her. She wasn't giving it back. We think Lincoln found one someone had been drinking from and didn't finish. A little while after that Hillary called to say sorry for Uncle John giving Gillian an entire can of soda and a marshmallow and caramel sandwich...along with other things I am sure. You could imagine my reaction...and it definitely explained her ridiculous behavior that night. So, Gillian had a great time with her family for Christmas and had her very first can of soda. Thanks to Uncle John :)

2009-12-19T07:38:00.000-08:00

The best way to heal from surgery while having restrictions on pretty much everything you do is to play band hero! Me specifically on the guitar, Jake on the drums (which by the way he rocks at), Gillian on vocals (of course) and Lincoln as our groupie. Honestly though, even that wears me out eventually :) Thanks Uncle Brent for the early Christmas present!!!!!

surgery update.

2009-12-17T20:21:00.000-08:00

It is almost 3 days out from surgery and I think I feel almost human again. I think I have pain management under control and now is the time to rest and heal. Thanks to everyone who has and will bring dinners and for help with my children. Thanks for being such good friends! One organ down...I am hoping not to make this a habit though ;) Now back to oblivion as I sleep and rest and heal.

Christmas Photoshoot 2009

2009-12-13T16:44:00.002-08:00

(Please Santa come!)

Just for fun...

2009-12-13T16:44:00.001-08:00

Famous People Who....

2009-12-07T13:47:00.000-08:00

Hey, Lyndon B Johnson had it done, so did John Ashcroft, James K Polk and even Andy Warhol (who probably isn't the best example because he died shortly after having it done). What am I referring to? They all got their gall bladders removed...and so am I!

See that little green thing down there? I hate it. It keeps me up at night with indescribable pain. During the day it gives me pain...not matter what i eat or don't eat it gives me pain. I say good riddance to you evil green organ!

Above: This is your gall bladder

Below: This is my gall bladder (it is vengeful and mean...and it must be destroyed!)

So after the surgery (in a week) I will get myself a hip new tee shirt like this guy...

And then I will be happy again and pain free...sans gall bladder.

The End.

Everyone's Crazy About a Sharp Dressed Man!

2009-12-02T12:26:00.000-08:00

*More Christmas pics to come!

Halloween 2009

2009-11-02T15:41:00.000-08:00

We did a lot for Halloween this year! We would have done more if the snow storm hadn't come and ruined a few events (including Gillian's class party). We did however manage to have tons of fun with the Bernhardt family at Treatzylvania and at the Trunk-or-treat at church and trick-or-treating here at UV Halloween night. Here are lots of pictures for your very much viewing pleasure.

Lincoln as a dragon...really cute!

He wore his costume well in advance of Halloween around the house. He loves it!

Gillian really personifies Tinker Bell I think....same spunky attitude! Plus she really looks like her!

A couple pictures chronicling our Treatzylvania experience with the Bernhardts...aren't their costumes amazing? Korryn is awesome :)

I kind of got a good shot...it is impossible to have them all look at the same time!

Gillian's wings were dangerous! She kept of poking Scott and she got me a few times in the ribs!

At the carnival after Trunk-or-treat....she was grumpy she had to wait to play a game. She is such a diva.

I went that night as the paparazzi....

Such a cute picture if my kids would acknowledge the camera!

Grammy came to trick-or-treat with us on Halloween night like last year and we had a lot of fun!

Total tally of candy collected: 17lbs.

RIP candy...you were enjoyed :)

We've gone bonkers...be back later!

2009-10-30T12:56:00.000-07:00

We got 21 inches of snow in a matter of a couple of days here and we have been stuck inside....I'm not driving in that madness! After a couple days of not leaving the house we have turned a little silly. There have been awesome things happening too...Here are some pictures journaling our journey.

Is there anything better than homemade cinnamon rolls? (The answer is no.) What is it about being stuck inside with it snowing that makes you want to bake?

Just a ton of snow!!

So beautiful.

We are just waiting for all the branches to break!

(The never did though)

And seriously, why do those people still have their air conditioner in their window...aren't they freezing!!!???

Thankfully, Gillian braved the outdoors and played a few times. She never lasted long though. Apparently playing outside when it is 20 degrees isn't pleasant after a while!

One morning I made Lincoln oatmeal and he is pretty good with utensils so I let me go off on it by himself. I was at the computer checking my mail and kept of hearing slurping noises and it made me laugh...(mostly this is for adoring grandparents to see).

I will leave with evidence of our insanity. Cabin fever is real people!

The Maddness of King Lincoln!

2009-10-25T08:19:00.000-07:00

Lincoln has turned into a serious climber and wrecker-of-things. He is all boy. I have a serious storage problem with his toys in his room. I need a toy box and a lock system on top of that! So, as you can imagine, nap time is an event to behold. Usually there is loud crashing and banging. (He also got caught red-handed coloring on his wall with a contraband pencil). The kid is a mess. One day he was putting up a real fight at nap time and was screaming for almost two hours when I just had to ignore him so I went about my usual routine of cleaning and dishes and being immersed in household drabbery and when I finished it was quiet. It could only mean

trouble. Here is what I found:

As I feared...all toys pulled down from dresser strewn about and bed pushed up to dresser used as step stool. Stinkin smart kid.

But where was he? I almost panicked.

The I realized he looks to be smushed when he sleeps. It is adorable and leaves marks on his poor face sometimes because he always squishes his head into the corner of his bed.

What a mess...

oh well,

at least

he's CUTE!

Family Time

2009-10-16T12:29:00.001-07:00

Recently my brother from New Zealand came to visit! I hadn't seen him for a few years and it was great to get to visit! The big occasion occurred when all of my siblings were together for the first time in well....over ten years? Too long anyway. We were able to give Brent an early Thanksgiving Day dinner, go hang out in Denver and attend a Rockies game while he was here to visit. We also shopped but mostly we just hung out and shared stories old and new. It was so much fun.

Unfortunately Danielle, Brent's wife, couldn't come. But for good reason as they are expecting a baby boy in March! I am thrilled and excited to become an Aunt for the first time! It was great for Brent to get to meet Gillian and Lincoln. The last time we saw Brent was a month before I gave birth to Gillian. The kids loved having more family around and I am so thankful we all could get together at the same time! I hope Brent feels the same way! Thanks for coming anyway :)

Here are some pic of our journey.

We took the pictures at the Promenade Shops (where the Super Target is...yes all my reference points surround where a Target is located). It was super windy that day. Brent with Gillian and Lincoln.

I love that in all these sibling shots Summit looks annoyed. From the back: Summit, Brent, Bristol, me and Hillary.

Stinky Summy...seriously this is your family buddy be happy!

We were just missing Hillary's boyfriend John and Brent's wife Danielle (and cute baby bump).
But we did have Jake and Brian there.

I totally yelled at Hillary for wearing her sunglasses and then found it hard to see with the wind blowing in my face so hard!

Brent Mom and Lincoln...too cute!

I love this picture too much...notice Brent with Gillian's headband on.

Mom and Brent again...cute Brent.

Todd Helton's home run at the Rockies game.

Pics of wear we sat at the game....it was really cold that night!

Mommy daughter shot...taken in the warm shelter of the family bathroom.

We were lucky another 4 year old sat right next to us. Lincoln never really sat for much longer than 10 minutes at a time so it was nice to have at least one child who could be contained (entertained). Jake was also parent of the year and thought ahead to bring suckers to the game and it definitely saved us!

Gillian and her hot dog...why I make her pose for these pictures I don't know.

One of Lincoln's calmer moments at the game.

View from where we sat...they were great seats!

Odds and Ends

2009-10-14T08:23:00.000-07:00

He kinda looks like that jonathon lipnicki kid right?

"Okay Gillian, smile pretty for the camera!"

this is what she gives us.

???

I love to shop at Target. I LOVE to shop at Target and buy things on clearance. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE getting an etagere for $8.00 instead of $65. I have always wanted one for my bathroom and with Lincoln "the monkey" Benfield climbing on top of everything I needed to save my makeup from extinction. (Yes he loves to put on makeup....just don't tell Jake) ;)

Snow Day!

2009-10-12T17:20:00.001-07:00

Just before they went outside.

Do you notice the plastic bags we have tied around her boots...totally ghetto but effective! (Plus it was totally too early for snow...we were caught off guard.)

Gillian eats her weight in snow every winter.

It just looks weird that all the leaves hadn't fallen off yet. Everything is still green!

Gillian is getting pelted by a snow ball thrown by dad.

Gillian makes a snow angel. Notice the unusually green grass...too early for snow people!

Books!

2009-09-11T06:05:00.000-07:00

I have been doing an awful lot of reading lately and thought I would share some of my favorites.

So I admit that Shiver is about a boy/werewolf who is in love with a girl. Yeah, I know you are thinking Twilight....but I really thought it was a great book. It wasn't like Twilight at all. It was a fun read....and it is pretty no?

I already read this last year but I had to put it down for those of you who haven't read it! It is fantastic! Set in the future with a story of survival and love. Never thought I would talk about people named "Peeta" and "Katniss" (her dad called her Katnip haha) Seriously 5 out of 5 stars!

The sequel...and yes I was at Barnes and Nobles right at opening to get this one! It was just as good as the first one if not better because of what happens at the end. I love what she is doing and the third and final book promises to be awesome! Too bad I have to wait an entire year!

I really like this book! I finished it in less than a day and I thought it was really cute. I thought this book would give me a brief introduction to Shannon Hale and let me know if I wanted to read any of her other books. I really like this story so I bought...

The Goose Girl. I have just started reading this and I am finding it a little hard to get into...anyone else? Or I am retarded? I think I will just start over again and try again.

I also just got Impossible. I was intrigued by the concept of the book (a story based upon a Simon and Garfunkel song no less) so I will be reading this soon as well.

Man I love to read.

Where to begin...

2009-09-10T14:38:00.000-07:00

So long no post.

Jake has been wondering where the posts are....

There are lots of reasons I haven't posted anything but I guess the main reason is that I have been just really negative lately. I haven't found many things to be happy about. I have let that spread to most areas of my life. I let myself get bogged down in feeling sorry for myself and have been wading in that pool most of the summer. What could possibly be keeping me down? I guess the answer to that is too personal to share with everyone...

A big dilemma has been whether or not to keep this blog about the happy moments in our lives or to let it all out, ugly included. Well, you know the title is the Benfield's in REAL life, not happy plastic pretend life so sorry for those of you who only like to read happy things...my life includes all the emotions. Probably there are more than one of you out there wondering why I am sharing this...well, if you know me at all, I can't keep it in and I always end up telling everyone everything eventually :)

I started keeping a diary of sorts and, because I have to name pretty much everything, I have named it Purge. This helps. I am also looking for support groups for people who feel sorry for themselves...okay that was a joke people. I am not depressed. Anyway, I have to say that my family is awesome and that even though I will complain about them I am so thankful Heavenly Father gave them to me. I don't deserve them. So, to be lazy but to appease my sweetie, here is a picture montage for you to catch upon our summer and let me off the hook.

I feel better already...

Gillian before church. She hates to have her hair done but she loves to look like a princess, go figure!

We ate at Noodles during the summer (yum) and we just let Lincoln at it! It was hilarious the looks we got, there was spaghetti everywhere! It was awesome! Our caveman baby...

Gillian love Rosborough park because it has Sara (from Land Before Time)

We frequented the drive in this summer! It was awesome...Gillian loves the ring pops.

One night we got to see Harry Potter and mini fireworks show and a meteor shower! Definitely one of the highlights of summer.

Lincoln is a champion (maybe that is why Jake wanted to name him that...). He is such a wonderful creature and I adore him. Once again, he shows his caveman abilities.

Poor guy has a rough time on Sundays. He doesn't get a nap because we have church at 1pm (grrr) so he falls asleep on the way home and we can't wake him up so we let him sleep on the couch afterwards. When we wake him for dinner he screams for an hour. It sucks but it sucks for him too so we listen to it....and we still love him anyway.

He looks good in pink right?

Gillian holding up the rainbow. She's the man.

Jake told me the other day he believes in me. Believe is a word I have taken forgranted lately...kinda like I have with the word faith. This is what I know....if I do nothing, nothing will change. So with that, I go about my journey and hope to have more happy things to post about than unhappy and leave you with a happy feeling after checking in with our family.

Milestones

2009-08-08T07:50:00.000-07:00

Gillian caught her first fish! Jake took her fishing the other night in Wellington and she walked away victorious! There were a few hang ups, right after they got there and set up for fishing, Gillian announced that she had to pee. Of course. Jake had to drive her into Wellington township and take her to a gas station. Yuck. She got ice cream though so she was nice and sticky when they got back to the lake. Of course that led to a mosquito attack to her body that has left her looking like she is a leper. Poor thing. But, she caught a fish! Yay!

I just *love* the pose!

This picture is much better. I don't know if you can see the trickle of blood coming down the fish but she sure noticed!

As for Lincoln, he sleeps in a big boy bed! I know what some of you are saying (He is too small for that!) Well, I partly agree but the kid is a climber and has been getting closer to getting out of his pack n play so it was time. We debated on buying a regular bed or toddler bed but our decision was made when neighbors were selling their toddler bed for $20. It is plastic and close to the ground so he can't hurt the bed, but more importantly he can't hurt himself!

The first night was a little shaky. I thought the first nap he took in their would be worse but he was exhausted from playing outside in the hot sun he passed out quick (no, not from heat exhaustion :p ). The last couple of nights we haven't had to go in at all. It is exciting that he is growing up but also so sad. My baby no more.

My sweet sleeping boy.

Caught being nice for once!

2009-08-02T07:48:00.000-07:00

Lincoln and Gillian got gifts from their Aunt Lizzie when we visited Pueblo last weekend. Lincoln got batman pj's that have a Velcro cape on the back! (seriously love it Liz)

Gillian's new thing is not to smile for the camera.

I walked into the living room the other day to find this. They were being nice and watching TV together.

cheesy.

Now she's hamming it up for the camera! ha ha.

Yellowstone

2009-07-27T20:00:00.000-07:00

This is our trip in a somewhat reverse order.

That is how I loaded the pictures and so that is how I will blog today. It seems like forever since we were in Yellowstone! We really had a great time. We were tired sometimes and grumpy a lot of the time and sometimes I had second thoughts about coming in the first place but that just proves it was a great family vacation! I pray we will be able to take many more family adventures through the years upcoming, even if they are challenging and scary. We suffered and triumphed together and we are a better family for it. Without further ado...highlights from The Benfield's in Yellowstone 2009:

We learned early in our trip that we need a better camera! The landscape in Yellowstone is diverse and absolutely beautiful! Our camera didn't capture much in the way of clear pictures but it shows just enough for you to know how breathtaking the scenery is.

The mysterious buffalo shaped bruise showed up on my arm in Yellowstone. Very weird and also painful. I have no idea where it came from.

On our last day in the park...actually the day we were leaving to go home we got to see a bear! It was right next to us by the road.

This is a picture of the moose we saw while leaving the Tetons. It was a mama and her baby...so cute!

The Tetons are ridiculous and i love looking at the mountain range. Gorgeous!

Just awesome. We did bathe them but seriously sometimes they just got a wipe down before bed. I don't even know how he got this way but I had to take a picture of his perfect caveman baby foot!

This is a picture of Gillian after we leave one of the geyser sites. I freaked out the whole time thinking she would run into the boiling-seriously-hot water and kill herself so I guess maybe I went overboard and when got into the car she insisted that she wear her helmet for safety reasons.

Tetons.

Poser.

I need to research and figure out why at Norris our pictures turned colors...in pink hues.

Old Faithful...apparently not erupting.

This was Gillian's friend Snaileey that came to visit Yellowstone with her. On a unrelated note: Snaileey is made from a couple of wiki sticks (wax sticks) and they are the best toys in the world. It saved us in the car driving for hours!

We had someone take our picture at Norris. It turned out really cute.

But our best family pictures come thanks to Jake's long arms. I love all of these pictures especially the "outtakes". The money shot is at the top o the blog.

squench in everyone!

Getting everyone to cooperate is really hard to do.

Pelicans.

This is one of my favorite pictures of our adventure, I think maybe the coloring of the landscape or the mood does it for me. It is so therapeutic to be in the midst of nature and beauty.

Once again, one of my favorites looking out onto the sunset on Lake Yellowstone.

Driving around all day is tiring. Especially when your day is made longer by someone (totally not me) stopping every ten seconds to take more pictures. We were up at dawn and still out past dark (10pm up there!) and we got glorious shots!

So in the Cody post I referenced the the fire movie Gillian was obsessed with. Here is a picture of what the trees look like now.

I have a hundred buffalo pictures from this trip. Partly because in the beginning you get excited to see wildlife and then mostly because they were EVERYWHERE! There were so many babies with them...it was awesome. There were a few times where we were at a standstill on the road because they blocked it....for 30 minutes annoying....but funny because they kinda were getting their revenge.

An elk who was camera shy.

This is Mammoth. It is completely different now then it was a few years ago. This used to be covered in teal colored water and now it is gone through its cycle again. Who knows when it will show up again?

The Mud pits.

Where the dragon lives...

Just a little scared...haha.

A little video of Gillian calling the dragon out....

Cody

2009-07-08T09:40:00.000-07:00

We visited Cody Wyoming for a work/vacation trip. This is a trip our family knows all too well as this is the third summer (fourth for Jake) that we have gone on this journey. This time though we were put up in a nice hotel that had free breakfast every morning and more importantly, blackout shades.

In past trips with Gillian, we just didn't have much to do and usually this would be a great thing! A thing that I want normally, nothing to do. But when you are out of you element it isn't always the easiest thing to have nothing to do. This time around I had a plan. We would venture around in the mornings ( having different things to do every day) have lunch and then swim in the afternoon until Jake got back from the museum. This plan was great and worked out quite well...with a few exceptions.

1. having blackout shades still does not mean you can do what you want during nap time. Because we were all in the same room together with Lincoln in his pack n play, I actually couldn't move while they slept or they woke up. (more about this later...)

2. Just because you bring 2 new books to read on your "vacation" doesn't mean you'll actually get to read them. Blackout shades are awesome except for when it is pitch dark and it makes you ridiculously tired to the point you can't read or you will fall asleep. ( I have finally finished the first book last night though).

3. Having a pool isn't always the coolest thing. Although it did work when Gillian would throw fits "Gillian if you don't stop we won't be able to go swimming..." Apparently the pool was overwrought with chemicals and Gillian can't keep her mouth closed in the pool to save her life! We woke up most nights puking. yuck.

4. In trying to keep the activities going with the kids, I was completely exhausted most of the time....which didn't help with Gillian's puke sessions at night.

5. forgetting your camera is the worst thing you could do on a vacation. (explained later in the section titled: Rodeos are cool.)

So here is a short montage of our Cody visit.

Gillian wasn't cooperating with taking pictures. For someone who is a princess she doesn't like to have her picture taken! This was at the Buffalo Bill Historical Center where Jake worked.

Gillian really got into the cowboy spirit of the old west while in Cody. She even got a pink cowgirl hat...the money of which went to the breast cancer research group there.

I love to see the tree rings! It is so crazy to see this stuff!

I made Gillian pose with these dresses. I really wished I lived in a time when I could where these dresses! Some women found corsets confining yet I envied them a bit. I confound myself.

Here we are at the fire movie station of doom. Gillian became obsessed with this movie presentation at the Draper museum. We sat and watched all afternoon. I ended up recording it if you are interested...

Gillian 2005

There is a place in the Draper Museum where there are a lot of hands on exhibits for kids. When Gillian was a baby and the first summer we took her there we took a picture of her with a horn that now has become a slight tradition.

Gillian 2009

Lincoln 2009

Ah the parades. Cody takes its parades seriously. There is a kiddie parade on Thursday morning and then the 4th of July parade on both Friday and Saturday mornings. The theme for the kiddie parade was Heroes of the Old West. The picture above is the only picture I took of that parade (too bad it isn't very good). This entry is for the POWER RANGERS. The kids put on Power Ranger costumes with cowboy hats on top. Seriously people, the Power Rangers are heroes of the old west? good grief!

We set up the next morning for the main event. Can you feel the excitement? ;)

I really need a new camera, the entry here is from the dam visitor center near Cody. The sign reads: the best "dam" volunteers around

The Shriner's are a mainstay in parades right? I have never seen this before though! They had little turtle mobiles! They were really cool!

Last but not least, the pink spray painted dog. I seriously told Gillian not too long ago that there was no such thing as a pink dog. Thanks Cody 4th of July parade for proving me wrong.

Rodeos are cool!

Notice I have no pictures to display? I forgot the dang camera! Gillian even participated in the dang show! They have a section of the rodeo where the kids go out into the middle and try to get the ribbons off the baby cows...stay with me here. So we talked Gillian into going out there by herself. Now this is a big stadium...Cody is the Rodeo Capital of the World....and Gillian actually goes out there and runs with all these hundreds? of kids. It. was. awesome. She didn't catch one of course but she had fun...until she excited to the wrong side and gets COMPLETELY lost. Jake has to run to the other side to find her and it was a mess. Anyway, she was found and wasn't even mad she couldn't find us. She went all by herself to part of the highest bleacher seats and sat down. She was watching the rodeo having a good time.

I could write an actual book about the hotel stay but I won't. Suffice it to say that we survived....barely.

Stay tuned soon for our Yellowstone Adventure.....

I love you Jake

2009-06-30T14:01:00.001-07:00

a case of the NO's

2009-06-27T21:27:00.000-07:00

The word of the day is NO.

I asked Gillian what she wanted for breakfast and she said: NO

I asked Gillian to get dressed. She said NO

I told Gillian she'd better be nice or she wouldn't go on vacation with us and stay here all by herself and she would be awfully sad without her family. She said NO!

I told her to go and pick up her room and guess what she said!?

Nothing.

Instead, she went to her room and got something out of her closet and brought it back to me....and this is what it said:

When did she learn how to spell? Stinker.....

Beauty Shots

2009-06-22T16:46:00.000-07:00

Just a few pictures of the kids swimming.

This is a picture of the perfect rainbow that I saw when we got home from church...unfortunately it wasn't perfect when I got the camera out but it is still beautiful!

Ramblings of a cRAZy LaDY

2009-06-19T11:43:00.000-07:00

Do you ever just feel the need to leave....just in general leave and go somewhere? I am seriously like that right now. I need to leave and leave the state and get far away. Luckily we are leaving a week from Sunday to go to Cody, Wyoming for a week and then to Yellowstone for a few days. Hallelujah! I hate feeling like I need a break from my life but I do and I am so thankful that I have the chance.

A funny Gillian story:

Last week, on the way out of town to go camping, Jake and Gillian stopped at the McDonald's drive through. A boy from church was working the window and he and Jake talked. As they drove off Gillian said, "Dad, is he looking for a wife?" What could Jake do but just laugh. What an odd question for her to ask! Unless she really thought she would make a good wife for him. ;) And seriously, did she think that was what he was doing there?...looking for a wife?
(Apparently this boy's brother told us he gets this reaction from a lot of little girls) She is my hero.

Lincoln happenings:

Lincoln talks a lot. He doesn't make much sense but for the most part gets his sentiments known. He actually knows a lot of words though. Lately, he likes to point out birds and shoes and he says the words correctly. Ma-ma means both Mom and marshmallow. (phonetically) jee-yaw is Gillian. He also like to hit and hit hard. He is such a boy. He also like to follow me around the apartment saying mamamamamamamamamamama..........He is awesome and one of the coolest kids I've made....I mean know. :)

They got style!

2009-06-02T18:15:00.000-07:00

My kids lately.....

They got into the cornmeal while I was on facebook...they got into it and then spread it all over and began to eat it....gross!

The next day it was the Graham cracker crust they got into and ate...while I was on facebook. I was too angry to take pictures of it...you would figure I would pay attention to my children once and a while. Jake told me facebook was evil ;)

Lincolns two favorite things right now:

1. saying "this" while he shows me something and then smiles and shakes his head "no" (thereby telling me he knows he shouldn't be doing what he's doing) and putting whatever "this" is into his mouth

2. dancing

They got rhythm!

She'd do it too!

2009-05-30T17:41:00.000-07:00

Gillian can be a little forceful (aka mean) when she wants something ;)

Shameless Plug

2009-05-27T13:18:00.000-07:00

Ya, I wish I took these!

My friend Becci is like the best photographer! When I get a wee bit smaller in size, she is totally taking our family portrait. If anyone reads this and knows someone who needs a photographer please drop becci's name and info!

Rebecca Ames Photography

Fathers and Sons (+Gillian) Campout 2009

2009-05-26T12:37:00.000-07:00

Just a few shots from camp...none taken with our camera...I couldn't trust Jake with my kids and my camera :)

I'm glad I trusted my instincts and packed everything...including jackets, hats and gloves.

Good grief he's cute!

I just loves these of Anders and Lincoln....they are too cute!

Their hats are just silly!

I love this one of RD and Lincoln it just cracks me up...its like they are trying to figure each other out.

Trying to teach the boy the art of roasting weenies.

Party tent!

Beautiful.

He never had that thing out of his mouth (except to eat).

Friends came to visit.

Gillian being a ham.

She really likes Mason.

Cool toy Anders!

Even though Jake showed up the next morning looking half dead from exhaustion, I think he had fun. Thanks Mason for taking these adorable pictures!

Gymnastic Show 2009!

2009-05-24T18:14:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the show!

Gillian's moment...seconds long but I love the look she gives everyone when she's done...like she's just given the Gettysburg Address.

Poor picture (can't wait until we get a new camera!)

A few things to point out...first: I love how she bosses people around and tells them to wait or to stand somewhere else, she even stops in the middle of spin the cat to tell someone to move...second: she loves spin the cat with a passion! third: the only reason she puts her arms up at the end is to get applause.

At the end of the show when she got her trophy!

So proud!

Gillian and her best friend, Nan Nan...so enamoured.

Who's that good looking man next to my daughter ;)

She totally didn't want to take this picture...doesn't she know this is all about me?

Approximately 1 hour after she got the dang thing! No joke...

Mosab

2009-05-18T07:58:00.000-07:00

Gillian becomes pretty attached to people she knows. She is a very affectionate soul and loves to shower you with "i love you" and kisses and hugs. Her friends at school have just come to accept that she is gonna do this to them...and some have actually come to like it. There is a certain boy at school who she is good friends with...Mosab. He is from the Middle East and he didn't speak a word of english when he started school this year. You wouldn't be able to tell now though! It is amaing at his progress and it is so awesome to see his personality come out after he got through that language barrier. Sometimes he comes over to our playground to play with Gillian. A few nights ago he came over to play and when he left heart break ensued. Enjoy watching me patronize my daughter.

So the only thing I could do to calm her down was for her to make him a card. If you know Gillian then you know she loves to make cards for her friends.

You can't really tell but it says I love you...

Can You Feel It?

2009-05-06T11:34:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday/Mother's Day/Cinco De Mayo/ Basketball Playoffs

Because of the above we celebrated in style and went to a

NUGGETS PLAY OFF GAME!

Honestly, it was totally wicked and a lot of fun!

We got some awesome gear...

Had a really good birds eye view ;)

And took some dorky pictures.

To recap:

Play off tickets $30 a piece

Large soft drink $4.50

Having no voice the next day after screaming like crazy people

absolutely priceless

Looking For a Reason...

2009-04-26T20:01:00.000-07:00

I really had a hard time making the decision to go to church today. I knew that with Jake out of town I wouldn't be able to attend any meetings today. I would be in the building and maybe in the room where the meeting was but not really be able to listen or really hear what the message was and I am sorry but I was feeling a little lazy. I decided finally to go because I am trying to be more obedient and do what is right and because I thought of the three of us, that Gillian not only needed a good example, but also would be able to be taught in primary. Boy, am I glad I listened to that little nudge I got. Gillian bore her testimony (on her own accord) in primary. I am not sure of all what she said except "You better love Jesus or you can't live with him and then you will be sad." Enough said. I know I complain about her but she amazes me at her intelligence and beauty and how she simplifies my life and makes me understand why we are here and makes me grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who sent me this amazing spirit that teaches me more than she could ever know. I love her so much. Unfortunately, the end of church ended with a nose bleed out of nowhere and I was mortified to not only see my daughter with a lot of blood pouring out of her but also to see her beautiful dress I just bought her covered in red! Oh well, I got it out! (Apparently she was teaching me about repentance today as well)

She wasn't happy about the blood on the dress either...

Another Weekend Without Jake, Another Dinner and New Shoes

2009-04-26T19:27:00.000-07:00

So Jake is out of town again this weekend and apparently I satisfy my loneliness with food...obviously a big no no for anyone trying to lose weight but this one wasn't too bad...it was an open face sandwich that my BFF made me a while ago that I fell in love with. Hey Monica, does that cookie sheet look familiar? =)

Of course when Jake goes out of town a kid gets sick. This time Lincoln decided it was his turn. One minute he was happy and laughing, the next a crazy screaming baby clinging to me for dear life.

He was content with his pluggy monster and remote ha ha.

A happier moment.

Back to sitting there...he didn't even care he was covered in pink!

Another happy moment.

Also, I got him his first pair of shoes. He has only worn those Robeez shoes so it was kinda funny to watch him walk and figure them out. Now when I tell him its time to go he goes to the front door to get his shoes and says "oohs oohs" and points at them. Too cute.