tracheoesophageal fistula (TEF)

Soon after we had sweet Lucy we realized there was a problem.  She had secretions coming up all the time.  At first the doctors thought she had just swallowed a big mouthful of amniotic fluid before she was born but hope of that soon faded and she displayed other problems.  She was moved to the special nursery the first night of her life.  From there I received numerous phone calls from Lucy's pediatrician letting me know what test they were running next.  First they tried a chest x-ray to check for pnemonia.  Finally in the early morning hours they told me they were sending Lucy for an upper GI.  Looking back, I think they expected to find what they did.  I am so thankful that the doctors were able to find what was wrong with Lucy.

After that test they determined that Lucy had a tracheoesophageal fistula or TEF.  Basically, Her esophagus ended in a pouch that didn't connect to her stomach and Her stomach attached to her lung.

Needless to say Jake and I were shocked to hear this.  I knew early on the first day of her life that something wasn't right, but I had no idea that this condition even existed and that Lucy had it.  Things moved very quickly from that point.  A couple hours later she was in an abulance (with Jake) on her way to Children's Hospital of Philadelphia (CHOP).  I won't go into what happened until the next afternoon when I finally got to be with her at CHOP...suffice it to say worry and a large amount of tears were shed. 

On the second day of her life, Lucy had surgery to repair her esophagus and seperate her lung from her stomach.  I tried to stay calm while she was in surgery, trying to manage my pain from my c-section and start pumping to try to establish a milk supply for Lucy.  I am so thankful for Jake keeping me held together.  Lucy's surgery was a sucess...thank you Dr. Nance!  Now we just had to recover....me and Lucy.

It has been just over two weeks since that day...and we are almost at the finish line!  We have begun the checklist to get prepared for Lucy's discharge.  I honestly don't know how I got to this point...it all seems like a big blur.  This is what I do know:  our family has been blessed in a million times since we had Lucy join us here on earth.  In the midst of the pain and anger and frustration that I have dealt with since this happened, I know that I have had angels with me.  Every time I started to loose it, I would feel a sense of calm come over me so that I could focus on taking care of myself and Lucy (as much as I could).  Heavenly Father has a plan for me and my family.  Jake and I knew that making this move to a place we have never been far away from everything and one that we knew would be an adventure, but we are now realizing that we have also been sent her to have new experiences and challenges and also to be blessed.  While all this was happening, people were dropping off food to our house annomously and many helped out by watching our kids all day.  Our ward family supported us in a tremendous time of need and I will always be thankful for their help.

Now as we come towards the end of Lucy's hospitalization, I can't believe how incredibly blessed and loved I feel.  I know Heavenly Father lives and loves me.  I am so thankful for my Savior for his atonement.  I know that He knows my pain, as he suffered it in the Garden that night.  I am so thankful for my eternal family.