Okay people, its setting in now. 3 kids. THREE kids. THREE KIDS!!!!
I have become very overwhelmed. I am forgetting things...things to do like eat, take lincoln to preschool, a word to describe something, when Gillian gets home from school, how to spell simple words. Two plus months of no sleep have finally caught up with me and I am a grumpy mess of a mom.
Yesterday was a particularly bad day and I yelled and felt sorry for myself and missed opporunities to have fun with my kids and just enjoy being a mom. Today wsn't much better as I tried to force Gillian (yeah, I know what was I thinking) to just get it over with and pull that dangling tooth in her mouth out. I got really grumpy gus with her and I really feel bad about it. That isn't the mom I want to be! *sigh*
I think part of what is happening is that all the crazy amounts of stress that I have been under are decreasing since Lucy was born. I have time (ha ha) to realize how different my life is. You figure it would be opposite, that I would feel a burden lifted with Lucy progressing well (update on Lucy coming soon)
but here I am feeling burdened.
Does this make any sense???
I know it will get better and I will be able to handle three kids...and me too. I just totally respect everyone who is doing it too. Having one kid was hard for me. It was an adjustment being less selfish and putting someone ahead of myself. Adding another kid wasn't that big of a deal. This one though...
So think good thoughts for me and pray for me to have a good attitude because crazy happens, but that doesn't mean I have to be crazy too!!!
3 comments:
there's something about going through a period of stress and feel pretty good about everything and then once things start improving, then you start feeling bad... the SAME thing is happening to me right now. once things slowed down, i crashed! don't beat yourself up. you are a good mom. you're learning too so give yourself a break (and fly out to utah!!). miss you!
You are doing great, Cher. Days and days without quality sleep makes me a SERIOUSLY grumpy mom, too. It will get better, I promise!! And don't forget to take a little time for yourself, so you can regroup. Tell Jake 'good luck' and disappear into the bathtub or something.
I feel your pain Cher! Trust me, just hang in there and every day gets a little easier! So glad Hillary is there!
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